My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Randomize
