I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
