I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize
