bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
