Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
