i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
