is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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