A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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