Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
