My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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