this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
