She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Randomize
