I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
