How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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