Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
