four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
We just shotgunned beers for America
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
