Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize