The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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