SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
