..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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