i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
