you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
