I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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