The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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