Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
