You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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