Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
we made out on top of his cat.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
