alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
