That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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