Your face is a jimmy john
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
