Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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