Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Randomize
