drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
