Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
