The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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