It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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