Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
wow bdsm is so cute
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
