Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
