It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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