And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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