I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
