I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
