and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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