A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
