Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
