I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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