Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
