wrigley field is MILF paradise
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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