the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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