People in love make me want to vomit
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
