im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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