So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
