That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
It's blow job season.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
